Menticide: Conversations in Black Self Hatred

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“The controllers of this society have made use of psychological warfare to erode and destroy the will and mind of Black people. This is menticide pure and simple. Once the victims discover the truth, we are forced to change our lives. But, the victim fears change because the victim doesn’t know where that change will take him or her. Indeed we fear the unknown. The victim seeks to deny but denial of this reality is problematic because the victim is reminded everyday. The victim is caught in an internal double bind, damned if they don’t, damned if they do.”- Olomenji, From an essay entitled Mentacide, Genocide and National Vision: The Crossroads for the Blacks of America.

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A few weeks ago I was talking with a friend of mine about self hatred. She told me that she has heard anti-black comments from family and friends.  I  have also heard comments from family as well as co-workers that reek of self hatred.  So I decided I would share some cooments I’ve heard over the last ten years.   I’ve heard some really ignorant comments from black co-workers. These are just a few short conversations I’ve had.

Example #1

I was eating lunch in the break room with  a black male co-worker. There’s no one else in the room but us two.

Co-worker:  Hey man,you ever screw a white girl?

Kushite:  No I haven’t.  I don’t really like them.

Co-worker: What??  That’s crazy man! You got to try a white girl at least once. I get tired of black women. Change it up a bit. It feels good giving  it to these white girls! (laughing)

Kushite:  No I’m good.  They’re not my thing.  I’m more attracted to black women. White girls do nothing for me. But you do what you want.( He just looked at me and shook his head in disbelief)

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Example #2

During a break I was talking with an African(Nigerian) co-worker.  I noticed a magazine on the desk.  As I flip through the magazine I see a picture of actress Lupita Nyongo.

Kushite: Now this is a beautiful woman!  She is truly stunning…don’t you think?

African woman:  Yes she’s kind of cute…not bad.  But you know where there are beautiful woman?  Have you heard of the Hausa tribe?

Kushite:  Yes I believe so.  Aren’t they a tribe in West Africa?

African woman:  Yes they are.  Many of them are so beautiful.  Many are very light skinned with thin lips.

Kushite:  So you’re saying they look white? Come on now!

African woman:  (very defensive)  No No!  Not what I meant.  I just mean they are very beautiful.  Light skinned with pointy noses and thin lips,you know?  That is all I meant.

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Example #3

Two  co-workers (black men) were by a cubicle and talking.  I was a few feet away behind them.  They couldn’t see me. An African woman co-worker walked by them.  She was a very dark skinned woman.

Black man #1- Did you see how dark she was?

Black man #2- Good Lord! She was dark as night! (laughing)

Black man #1- Yeah she was left in the toaster oven too long! That’s too black!(laughing)

Black man #2-  Burnt to a crisp! (both men laughing)

As a side note,Black man #1 has a biracial daughter with a white woman. And is currently dating a Mexican woman.  He doesn’t even look at black women.  Black man #2 as a daughter with a black woman although they have since broken up.  He told me he is currently engaged to a mixed woman.  Mixed with what??  He told me she mixed with white and Mexican.  He even showed me a picture of this below average looking woman.  She looks pretty white to me.  Both of these “men” are pathetic examples of the black race.

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These are just a few examples that come to mind.  Can you name an instance of black self hatred?  Or maybe a comment that someone may have made that sounds anti-black? Something insulting about nappy hair?  Or something degrading about skin color?  I’m sure you’ve heard these comments before.   I’d love to read your examples.