Good Black Men are not just ATM machines

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Today African American men are expected to be providers for women, often whether they are married to the women or not. But if you are not married to a woman and the two of you do not live together, YOU are not under any obligation to pay her bills, get her hair and nails done nor pay her rent. Those are her responsibilities. And though it is nice to do so, if you can afford to, guys be careful not to let your generosity be mistaken for obligation.

If men and women play house, women must overstand that house comes with authority via leadership and living by example, not just the right to pay the bills. This is an area counselors struggle to explain, African American women tend to reject and African American men fail to hold the line on. The leader of the relationship or head of thee household is so much more than an ATM and its past the time for us to make that known.

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We who are strong African American male leaders in our homes recognize our varied roles and functions. Our women must recognize this as well or they fail to comprehend who we are. And if you cannot be the head of your home or relationship, leading with fairness, respect, compassion and by example, you do not need to be in that home nor in that relationship. There are too many weak and/or emasculated African American men who are bowing to women and allowing them to run the household. We can consult, listen to and work together with our women but when it comes down to it, there can only be one leader. African American men must therefore lead in the right direction and demand respect as the leaders of our households and communities. In a kingdom, your wife or woman can be and should be your queen, but there is only one King.

We men are much more than ATMs. We are protectors. We are examples. We are final decision makers. We are leaders who bring the family to the table as often as possible so the family can make decisions together. We initiate discussions, require excellence from our family members and demand it of ourselves. We find answers to problems when there seems like there is no solution. We mediate conflict and neutralize it in the household with win-win problem resolution.  And if you don’t know how to do all of these things, it neither keeps you from being a man nor voids your right of authority and your responsibility to lead. You simply have to learn and none of us (including your wife or woman) is perfect. So never let anyone belittle you on the basis that you are not where you should be – as long as you are making the sincere effort to get there.

We who are strong African American men have to stop trying to buy women or trying to impress them with money or what we will pay on their behalf. We men are much more than cash, checks and credit cards or vessels of material things. Sending the wrong message has both set and fed a dangerous and false standard  and allowed women to mistake our kindness as an obligation. Buying your woman nice things and helping her when you can are admirable traits but you need to know such behavior can easily become an expectation that defines you in her eyes. Then, when you don’t, won’t or can’t, she may very well find someone who will or see you as failing your commitment to her. I speak of course regarding the relationship where you are not married and do not live together.

As a husband and/or a father, the role of the African American male is priceless and cannot be replaced by any other person, entity or structure. We provide balance and stability to the relationship. We provide direction for the family. I say again, nobody else can perform our role or function – not two women in a relationship, not two men together. Now is the time for African American men to rise up and return to being the leaders and examples that our fathers or grandfathers were.  If you are a male, be a man. Teach and expect the same from your sons. And if any woman does not like it or cannot accept it, you do not need her. You can make a good woman your queen but there can only be one king. Believe it, act like it, become it, teach it and expect it.

Article written by Marque-Anthony

 

Black Fathers: You are appreciated!

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Tribute to Black Mothers across the world!

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Just a dedication to all the beautiful black mothers out there. To all the wives,aunts,nieces,sisters and grandmothers across the world. I hope you enjoy the video. Here’s a very fitting poem by the great Marcus Garvey:

Where can I find love that never changes
Smiles that are true and always just the same,
Caring not how the fierce tempest rages,
Willing ever to shield my honored name?

This I find at home, only with Mother,
Who cares for me with patient tenderness;
She from every human pain would rather
Save me, and drink the dregs of bitterness.

If on life’s way I happen to flounder,
My true thoughts should be of Mother dear,
She is the rock that ne’er rifts asunder,
The cry of her child, be it far or near.

This is love wonderful beyond compare;
It is God’s choicest gift to mortal man;
You, who know Mother, in this thought must share,
For, she, of all, is Angel of your Clan.

My Mother is black, loveliest of all;
Yes, she is as pure as the new made morn;
Her song of glee is a clear rythmic call
To these arms of love to which I was born.

I shall never forget you, sweet Mother,
Where’er in life I may happen to roam;
Thou shalt always be the Fairy Charmer
To turn my dearest thoughts to things at home.

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Sacred Man

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Sacred Man: From Boyhood to Manhood to Divine Masculine. A Manhood Manual, compact reference guide. Quoting modern day master teachers, on the spirit, mind & body balance of a new type of evolving warrior. An urban polymath, a conscious renaissance man – A Sacred Man. Full colour book/eBook with over 300 images. Addressing issues on: Male holistic health, Sacred sex, Spiritual growth, Masculine vitality, Herbs and fitness, Defining purpose, Self-development, Rites of passage and more… A Bookshelf essential for: young men, fathers, mothers of son’s, men… and the women who love them.
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Aundrieux Khonsu Sankofa-EL, Is an educator, inner-city youth mentor specializing in urban rites of passage. He has lived and studied the schools of Islam, Christianity and Judaism, also Buddhist & Hindu meditation. Usui Reiki, Tao spirituality & Tantra. Landmark education self development, NLP, psychology & counselling, holistic health and Khemetic spirituality as taught by master teachers Supreme Grand Master Neter Aaferti Atum Re and Dr. Ra Un Nefer Amen. He lectures on Holistic Health, Ancient African History, The Metaphysics of Hip Hop, and is co-founder of The Manhood Academy for Boys: a rites of passage program, training boys to men in London.… MORE

Resurrection of Black Manhood(Masculine Principle): The Effeminization Process(Part 1 of 4)

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This series will focus on the attack on Black Manhood. This is part one of a four part series. This video is by Irritated Genie.  It’s a great video that perfectly explains the long attack on black manhood in Amerikkka and abroad.  This is something that effects all men in the African diaspora. This is a vicious assault on the thought process on black men.  In Africa we had the masculine principle that celebrated us as warriors,fathers and protectors of our women and children. I also have a series coming up about the Divine Feminine Principle as well.  Stay tuned for that. This attack on black manhood is evident in everything from tv dramas,movies and sports.  It seems to a never ending assault. Black men all across the world must speak out against this. These homosexuals and transgenders are not the proper representation for us at all. This is nothing but a psychological warfare.

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“Effeminization is the only process, the last desperate attempt, that survival oriented Afrikan males can strike back against the enemy within without attacking the real source of their fears about their own manhood. It has increasingly become a viable alternative for those who are unwilling to confront, and permanently suppress, their vanquished state. But slipping into this mentality and its accompanying lifestyle is only one of the options available to vanquished Afrikan males.” ~ Baba Mwalimu Baruti
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America is a Greco-Roman society. Greeks and Romans practiced homosexuality all the time.  It was normal in their culture. Men having sex with each other  and with little boys was normal. Now America is trying to recreate that ancient society by brainwashing black people into thinking it’s a “normal lifestyle”.  This is NOT what people of African descent should be doing.  You must know the ways of your enemy in order to survive.  America is nothing but an anti-African,anti-nature,anti-black society. We have to always keep that in mind.

Other great articles dealing with this subject.

https://blackmystory.wordpress.com/from-warrior-to-medea-the-effeminization-of-the-arican-man/

http://diaryofanegress.com/2013/01/25/the-historical-effeminization-of-the-black-male/