Singer/actor Tyrese Gibson marries his “black queen”

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It seems there’s a big uproar over R&B singer/actor Tyrese Gibson.  Apparently he recently announced that last month he secretly got married.  No big deal right??  Well in his Instagram post he said he had found his “black queen”.  But the picture of his wife proves otherwise.  His wife is Samantha Lee Schwalenberg. She doesn’t look very black to me. This is not a light-skinned black woman. Where are the African features?  The less African features you have makes you less black.  That’s why every racial group has race classifications to tell themselves apart from others. In 2014, Lee got a certification from the Professional Bartending School of Atlanta. Her certification is in mixology and bartendering.The newly married Mrs. Gibson attended the University of Georgia, and once even competed in the Miss Latin UGA pageant in 2011. Which is fitting since she looks more Latin than African.On her Facebook page, Lee regularly posts long, thoughtful posts about the role of religion and God in her life. In August 2015, Lee wrote about life and death saying, “I think the Devil does a pretty good job of convincing us that there’s nothing after death…that this life, that’s it. I am writing you all to tell you that I know that it doesn’t stop there. We should not fear death, just like we should not fear birth.”Lee is from Dayton, New Jersey, and according to her Facebook page, she now lives in Athens, Georgia. People magazine had reported that Tyrese and Lee were first seen out together at the 33rd Annual UNCF Mayors Masked Ball at Atlanta Marriott Marquis in Atlanta in December 2016.

I could really care less who Tyrese married.  The problem is he called her his black queen. According to Tyrese her racial makeup is Ecuadorian,Jamaican and African-American. Tyrese forgot to mention she is also part white.  So he should’ve said his “mixed queen”.  Or at least his biracial queen.  But to call her black is insulting to black women and black people in general.

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This is a picture of Lee with her father.  He looks pretty white to me.  She looks like an Arab or a Hispanic woman.

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This is a picture of her mother and brother on the far right.  Supposedly the mother is Hispanic. So I guess the mother is an Afro-Latina with some Jamaican ancestry.  The truth of the matter is she is a biracial woman that could easily pass for a Mexican,Cuban or Arab.  This is the problem with the silly one-drop rule. This is another example of whitewashing the African image.  Tyrese knows he’s wrong for this.  And I’m glad that black men and women are calling him out on it.  This was some ignorant self-hating coonish behavior on the part of Tyrese.  But this is what happens when you make being black all inclusive. Am I wrong?  Has this biracial stuff gone too far? Is Tyrese delusional?  I’d love to hear  your thoughts.

Bill Cosby: What’s real and what’s not

This is a good video by Dr Rick Wallace. He gives a great breakdown of the Bill Cosby rape allegations. He makes some very solid points about the allegations that many people might not think about. He also speaks on rape and incest in the black community.

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The ongoing saga surrounding Bill Cosby has created some interesting dialogue across America and the world; however, I will argue that the discussions and debates that should be sparked by this story are, for the most part, going unaddressed. While I believe that we need to discuss the veracity of the accusations that have been launched against Bill Cosby, and with the latest bit of information that has been released, there is definitely a dark shadow hovering over him; however, I believe a significant portion of the energy directed at this story will be better served engaging the enigmatic issues that are at the core of the story — rape, incest and molestation in the black community.

It is extremely difficult to decipher the statistics that are presented on these issues due to specific biases; however, on any level, we are dealing with an epidemic, and it is causing devastating effects. Based on academic studies and experiential observation, I would argue that no group of females on the face of the earth has been the more victimized when it comes to incest, molestation and family rape than the black woman. This is not to marginalize the struggles of any other group, but those who know me understand that my focus is always on improving the condition of my people, before engaging the needs and struggles of any other group.

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Until we seriously engage the questions and challenges that are presented through the perpetuation of this type of behavior and the neglect in properly engaging these issues, we will continue to struggle as a collective group. Ignoring incest, rape and molestation, or marginalizing it does not eliminate or mitigate its nefarious impact on our culture. The massive gulf that exists between the black man and the black woman is, at least partially, the result of these unaddressed issues. Every time that a black female experiences this type of psychological, physical and emotional trauma, and it goes unaddressed, she becomes fractured and dysfunctional. She may be able to overcompensate in certain areas to develop an appearance of having it all together; however, a closer anatomization of her mental and emotional state will reveal that she has become her own worst enemy, and you will probably find a trail of failed relationships that have manifested the horrific results of what she once believed she had left behind her.

There are black women who are struggling to maintain any semblance of a normal life, especially when it comes to maintaining a romantic relationship with a man. Her issues not only impact her ability to engage a serious and committed relationship in a healthy manner, but it also impacts her ability to effectively parent her children, which she will almost certainly have. To exacerbate the matter, one or more of her children may be the progeny of her abuser.

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This black woman will struggle to trust men, making any type of healthy relationship with a man virtually impossible. When the psychological and emotional dynamics associated with child molestation and incest are considered, it is no wonder why so many of our women are fighting just to stay afloat. First of all there is the element of introducing and child to sexual activity long before they are mature enough to handle the repercussions that are associated with it. There is a general consensus that having sex too early in life presents multitudinous dangers. Although there is a difference in opinion as far as what age constitutes too early, most would agree that the age at which most molestation within the family environment, incest, begins, is far too young for a child to appropriately process what is taking place. This is the first phase of trauma and devastation, but it is not the only thing that they will have to deal with. Another dynamic, which may be even more injurious than the damage caused by the early introduction to sexual activity, is the fact that the assault is being perpetrated by someone that the victim loves and trusts. In fact, the perpetrator is often the very one that should be protecting the child from such dangers. This betrayal of trust is highly pernicious and its destructive impact can literally damage a person for life.

It is also important to understand that this type of trauma is not exclusive to black women. Young black boys are assaulted at an alarming rate, primarily by men — putting to bed a common myth that pedophilia is a white issue. The postulation that black men are not pedophiles is due to the fact that this type of behavior is often covered up in the family, and the perpetrator is often protected from prosecution, further placing children in the family at risk. Almost all of us have the uncle or cousin, or maybe father or brother that everyone in the family keeps their kids from. There is a reason for that.

What is even more alarming is abused people who do not get treatment are likely to abuse others. While females will generally manifest their issues through verbal and physical abuse toward their children, young males are more likely to offend in the very same way that they were violated. The perversion of such a natural act can cause immeasurable damage.

While this entire issue with Bill Cosby has brought out the ugly side of many people, I see it as an opportunity to properly engage these issues in an in-depth manner. Not only do we need to discuss these issues through open dialogue, but we need to develop a strategy to attack the issues in a manner that will produce efficacious results. We can’t simply sit around and talk about it, and finger pointing will get us nowhere. We need to create programs for victims of child molestation and incest within the black community. We must also be willing to provide the help that is needed by those who perpetrate these crimes — keeping in mind that they were once victims themselves.

While the Bill Cosby Saga may be intriguing to some, and an opportunity to strike out for others, we should be focused on the bigger issue here — lifting, protecting and healing our women and young men who are the victims of these merciless crimes. ~ Dr. Rick Wallace