Good Black Men are not just ATM machines

ATM2..

Today African American men are expected to be providers for women, often whether they are married to the women or not. But if you are not married to a woman and the two of you do not live together, YOU are not under any obligation to pay her bills, get her hair and nails done nor pay her rent. Those are her responsibilities. And though it is nice to do so, if you can afford to, guys be careful not to let your generosity be mistaken for obligation.

If men and women play house, women must overstand that house comes with authority via leadership and living by example, not just the right to pay the bills. This is an area counselors struggle to explain, African American women tend to reject and African American men fail to hold the line on. The leader of the relationship or head of thee household is so much more than an ATM and its past the time for us to make that known.

ATM1..

We who are strong African American male leaders in our homes recognize our varied roles and functions. Our women must recognize this as well or they fail to comprehend who we are. And if you cannot be the head of your home or relationship, leading with fairness, respect, compassion and by example, you do not need to be in that home nor in that relationship. There are too many weak and/or emasculated African American men who are bowing to women and allowing them to run the household. We can consult, listen to and work together with our women but when it comes down to it, there can only be one leader. African American men must therefore lead in the right direction and demand respect as the leaders of our households and communities. In a kingdom, your wife or woman can be and should be your queen, but there is only one King.

We men are much more than ATMs. We are protectors. We are examples. We are final decision makers. We are leaders who bring the family to the table as often as possible so the family can make decisions together. We initiate discussions, require excellence from our family members and demand it of ourselves. We find answers to problems when there seems like there is no solution. We mediate conflict and neutralize it in the household with win-win problem resolution.  And if you don’t know how to do all of these things, it neither keeps you from being a man nor voids your right of authority and your responsibility to lead. You simply have to learn and none of us (including your wife or woman) is perfect. So never let anyone belittle you on the basis that you are not where you should be – as long as you are making the sincere effort to get there.

We who are strong African American men have to stop trying to buy women or trying to impress them with money or what we will pay on their behalf. We men are much more than cash, checks and credit cards or vessels of material things. Sending the wrong message has both set and fed a dangerous and false standard  and allowed women to mistake our kindness as an obligation. Buying your woman nice things and helping her when you can are admirable traits but you need to know such behavior can easily become an expectation that defines you in her eyes. Then, when you don’t, won’t or can’t, she may very well find someone who will or see you as failing your commitment to her. I speak of course regarding the relationship where you are not married and do not live together.

As a husband and/or a father, the role of the African American male is priceless and cannot be replaced by any other person, entity or structure. We provide balance and stability to the relationship. We provide direction for the family. I say again, nobody else can perform our role or function – not two women in a relationship, not two men together. Now is the time for African American men to rise up and return to being the leaders and examples that our fathers or grandfathers were.  If you are a male, be a man. Teach and expect the same from your sons. And if any woman does not like it or cannot accept it, you do not need her. You can make a good woman your queen but there can only be one king. Believe it, act like it, become it, teach it and expect it.

Article written by Marque-Anthony

 

ARE BLACK PEOPLE (VICTIMS OF WHITE SUPREMACY) COWARDS?

I love this post! You need to read this post. And be sure to subscribe to this brother’s blog. He has some very insightful post. He covers a lot of great subject matter.

21st CENTURY RACE MAN

Greetings,

As a person who admittedly does not have the once and for all solution to the system of racism/white supremacy (none of us do, or have been able to successfully implement such a thing), and is dedicated to finding the solution, I believe that a very large part of finding the solution involves speaking and listening to others who are on a similar path, whether they are people in our own social circles, or other commentators, activists, writers, kwk who are also dedicated to justice for Black people.  Considering the extremely high stakes of the war that has been waged against Black people and our seemingly inadequate response to that war, it goes without saying that there is a high level of frustration among those who fall under the informal and loose label of Black consciousness.  One word that I often hear used to describe the masses of Black…

View original post 1,195 more words

Afr-Letics apparel(Black Business series)

Afriletics3...

Afr-letics is an African culture inspired line that combines African history and modern sports logo design. Though not limited to the past, Afr-letics

also features present African influences as well. It’s concept of being connected to historic greatness

that, for some, has

long since been forgotten. Afr-letics strives to cast a reinvigerating historic light on some of

Africas dimly recalled past.

Afriletics2...

Afriletics1...

https://www.afr-letics.com/

Healers are Warriors(Ase’)

Ase..

ASE'(ah-shay): A YORUBA WORD MEANING POWER,AUTHORITY AND COMMAND. IT IS THE ABILITY TO MAKE WHAT YOU SAY HAPPEN. “SO IT IS” OR “SO IT WILL CERTAINLY BE.”

Black Mentacide: Accepting Degenerate Ghetto culture

Hip Hop Culture1.

Last week a friend of mine asked  me what I thought about the ” Do it for The D” challenge.   I wasn’t sure what he was talking about.  He said it’s a rap challenge that had went viral all over social media. It is where you do a rap and talk what you what do to get penis from a man.  There are also an alternative version in which men rap about what they would do get vagina from a woman. I find this pretty sick and disgusting!  Look how far we’ve sunk as a people.  You have rappers and black actors doing this stupid ass challenge.  Hip hop used to be about educating our people with knowledge.  The golden era(1980-90) of hip hop had artists like Public Enemy,X Clan,KRS ONE,Brand Nubian,The Jungle Brothers,A Tribe Called Quest and Queen Latifah.  At least they were either Afrocentric,pro-black and had conscious lyrics.  But ever since the mid-nineties it has hit an all time low.  I remember a few years back Nas dropped a Cd called Hip Hop is Dead.  I think he may be right. Now the culture is just operating on the lowest frequency.  Now they have children talking about shooting each other,acting like gangsters and being promiscuous.  This is nothing but mentacide.  It is the destruction of the black mind.  And it’s being done intentionally.

Issa Rae...jpg

And the video(above) shows celebrities like Issa Rae,Regina Hall,Keke Palmer,rapper Tyga,T-Boz, Gabrielle Union and Sanaa Lathan doing the challenge.  It was really disappointing to see Union and Lathan stooping to this garbage.  I have always thought they were beautiful and talented actresses.  They should know better than to do such a degenrate sexual challenge like this.  But the worst had to be Erykah Badu.  She and comedian Michael Blackson did the challenge.  I understand that Blackson is a silly ass comedian that you can’t take seriously.  But Erykah??  I thought she was supposed to be this deeply spiritual,conscious,holistic Afrocentric woman.  This woman is 46 years old with three children.  Is this what she wants her children to see??  Do they want to see their mother doing a “dick challenge”?  This is a new low for Erykah.  She makes good music but she’s not truly conscious in my opinion.  And these other celebrities should know better as well.  They should lead by example.  But the truth is they believe that ghetto ass hoodrat culture is authentic black culture.  They think they’re “keeping it real”.  In a sense they are…keeping it REAL ignorant! These celebrities are paid puppets. They go along whatever their rich white masters tell them to do.  As long as they’re getting paid they don’t care if they’re putting out negative stereotypes or contributing to black mentacide.  Are we niggas and hoodrats?  Do we want our black boys to  view manhood as how many women you can sleep with?  Do we want black girls to see themselves as ghetto hoodrats?  I would think not.  And videos like this show that celebs have no social responsibility.  And we have to protect our children from this madness.  It’s up to us to show a positive examples to our young ones.  This so-called challenge is deplorable in my opinion.

I love this video(above) by Goalden Chyld.  This rapper flipped this disgusting challenge on it’s head.  He did a positive and uplifting video entitled ” For the People Challenge”.  Now others are doing positive videos as well.  I salute this brother!  I hope this type of thing catches on.  But deep down I know it wont be as popular as the “do it for The D” videos.  This proves to me that black people have a serious mental illness.  We have been taught accept disgusting and over the top sexual themes as “authentic blackness”.   This type of mentality needs to change.  We got to do better.